No Second Chances
by Cupcake247
Summary: A/U Callie returns to Arizona to try and reconcile their relationship after the couple suffer a devastating loss.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I do not any of the characters etc**_.

'It was your choice, your decision. You don't have the right to come back here now. I was already broken, you know that. But you couldn't stick around to find out if I was strong enough to get through this...you just left.' She could feel the lump in her throat, tears were already streaming down her face but to acknowledge the emotion would see it overcome her.

'You shut me out' Callie pleaded.

'And you're holding that against me? I don't think anyone knows how to deal with the loss of a child Callie. No one. My rational mind shut down for a while. I'm sorry I didn't live up to your expectations but I would have thought you could have given me some time to deal before running off.' The audible anger in her voice made Callie take a step back. She thought about her decision to return to Seattle, the hardest she had ever made. She gathered herself and stepped forward again remembering the promise to herself that whilst this wasn't going to be easy, she needed to prove to Arizona that this time she was not running.

'But I gave you time, every day'

'For how long exactly? This was never going to be gone overnight'

Callie lowered her voice 'I'm sorry, I love you'

'But not enough to stick around' Arizona turned and grabbed onto the nearest chair. She hadn't realised how much she was shaking.

'I was scared, you completely shut down. I was grieving too and there just seemed as though there was no space for that...you had it all. You carried her, you guys were bonding for six months before I even got to meet her. And then she was torn from us. We were BOTH broken, we both did and said things we shouldn't have. I shouldn't have walked away, but at the time I just wasn't thinking straight. I needed to get my head back.'

Arizona shook her head and tried to breathe. She was exhausted, this fight had exhausted her and she didn't have much more energy to invest into it.

'I've moved on!' she blurted

You've moved on?

'Well, I'm moving on... and I'm not stopping with that as you've decided this is now our time. Always on your terms Calliope. It has taken you a year, and yes...I am moving on'

'I'm not going anywhere Ari, we need to sort this out. Don't shut me out like before, I'm back for you and I'm staying.'

'Well good luck with that,' Arizona said as she marched over to the door and held it open for her ex. Callie looked at her questioningly but as she saw the hurt in the blonde's eyes she resolved herself that this was clearly enough for today. She left, pausing at the door to look at Arizona 'I'm sorry' she whispered, trying to meet her eyes but the blonde only looked down, her face blank.

Arizona shut the door with what felt like all her remaining strength and fell against it. She didn't cry, she couldn't. Her limp body slid down the door and she brought her knees in. Eyes wide, she stared into her living room trying to cut off the memories that were suddenly drowning her.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, I have changed direction slightly. Hope you do not mind! The story feels better in my head now.**

Callie's alarm woke her with a start and she hit her alarm onto snooze. It took her a while to come round from her sleep and for that moment the pain in the pit of her stomach was merely a pain. Then she remembered it, the feelings that went with the pain of such tremendous loss. She looked down next to her and saw Arizona sleeping soundly facing the opposite direction. She always slept that way these days. This morning though, as she watched her love she felt a huge amount of guilt. She should never have contemplated leaving, she knew that now. The dream she had just had shocked her back into the present. Something had to change though, it had been three months since the miscarriage, they were barely talking, never touching. But she wasn't leaving, she knew that now. The packed bag hidden in the closet would be emptied and that would be the end of it. She looked again at Arizona, wishing she would wake up so she could have the conversation she was now ready to have. Hearing her alarm again though she realised that conversation would have to wait until after work so she shuffled herself into the shower.

Work was always the same, Mark was always in the on-call room with some gullible nurse, Meredith and Christina always had their dramas and the fresh interns were always scrambling over the most minor surgeries. It was all the same, apart from the lack of her favourite person. Arizona hadn't returned to the hospital yet, she couldn't face it. Callie never had the option though and continued to work. She hadn't taken more than two days. She would have taken more if she'd felt Arizona wanted her around.

'Morning Torres!' Mark called as ran down the hall and hit her on the back.

'Morning' Callie replied solemnly.

'Oh dear,' he remarked as noted her tone of voice 'Come on Torres, let's get you some coffee.'

'I was leaving Mark, this morning I was leaving her.' she finally revealed after her third mouthful of coffee.

'I know it's selfish. I know I have no right to feel like this. I'm just not strong enough.'

'So what changed?'

'Huh?'

'Well you're still here aren't you, something must have changed your mind?'

'I had this awful dream last night. I HAD left, I'd come back but it was too late, I had lost her. I can't lose her. As hard as this is right now I can't lose her! I thought yesterday that I had made my decision but now...I know I don't want to leave.'

'You guys just need to sort this out. What you've been through is horrible, but you're both stronger than you think. Just start by talking to each other, you need to understand each other's grief and be there for each other instead of bottling it all up on your own.'

'Jees Mark, when did you get so wise?'

'Ooo I don't know, very unusual!' He said, turning his head as a stunning redhead pranced past the pair. Callie chuckled.

'Ha, I knew I could get a smile.' Returning his attention to Callie.

'I'm gonna talk to her tonight...properly talk. Maybe I should cook, she hasn't eaten anything for a long time.'

'You've made the right decision Torres...glad you're sticking around!' Clearly absent from the conversation he leapt up from the table and walked over to the nurses' station. Callie turned her head to see the redhead flicking her hair around and Mark flirting outrageously. 'Typical' she thought to herself and left to check on her patients.

As the end of her shift neared, she suddenly remembered the bag in the closet. What if Arizona had found it? She stopped still, totally panicked at the thought that this could be the end of everything. Callie thought back to the previous day when she'd made the decision to leave. How different things were now, and she hadn't even spoken to Arizona yet. Doubt flooded her mind 'Even if she hasn't found the bag, will she want to talk?' Arizona was a mess, Callie knew that. She was going to help fix her now, they were going to get through this together. Callie quickly left the hospital with a feeling of confident determination.


End file.
